The Litter Box

~ Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I'm married. Usually, happily so. There have always been (and will always be) bumps in the road, but so far, no major fights. Just loud disagreements. And I don't say that with any sarcasm. Really.

So I wanted to do something special for my husband this year for our second anniversary. For some reason, I thought second year was paper, but it turns out that the second year is Cotton and China. First year is paper. Go me.

On September 17th I was surfing the web and decided to visit the Third Day website. Third Day is a Christian Rock band. One of the best, actually. They have won a few Grammys and have won at least one Dove award every year since 1998. Put simply, they rock. So I was hanging out at their website, looking for when they are going to release their new album. (November 1).

Then I saw it...Third Day was coming to Raleigh on October 21. To the NC State Fair. Hmmm. I looked with dread at the cost of the tickets. Eight dollars. I spelled that out so that you didn't think I typo'd. Yes. Eight dollars a ticket.

But before I buy one...October 21 is a Friday. Arimoose (my husband) would never take the day off, even for Third Day. (Such a work ethic!) So I hatched a plan. A big plan. A Surprise Plan. Yes. Make it a surprise.

Moose told me that his supervisor (Sgt B) had wanted to speak to me, in order for him to get our anniversary Friday off, so I called him.

"Hey Sarg! I need a favor!"
"What?"
"I need Moose to have Friday, October the 21st off, but you can't tell him why."
"Uh, ok, what for?"
"I'm taking him to a concert for our Anniversary."
"What you gonna do for me?"
"Whatchoo want?"
"Can you cook?"
"I make a mean enchilada."
"Done. I'll actually put him on RECERT training that week, he'll automatically get Friday off."
"Cool! Thanks, Sarg!"
"No problem!"

So I rang off and went back to the website. Two tickets.....best seats available.... South 3 N 11?....Where is that?.....map of arena....oh....that's not bad....and it's eight bucks each....ok....bought. $16.00.

Then I thought about it. The NC State Fair. Gonna need to get in there, to get to the Arena. Hmm...Internet Discounts were $1 off admission and 1/2 off sheets of ride tickets. Bought two sheets and 2 adult entry passes. $28.00.

Oh yeah, Third Day, baby!!

To say I was excited would be a gross understatement. This was an Event that would be Shrouded In Mystery. I had visions of waiting until that Friday, telling him we were going to the grocery store and just hi-jacking him off to Raleigh and THIRD DAY!!

That lasted for all of about 5 minutes once we got in bed.
"I have a surprise for you."
"oh?"
"Mhm. For our anniversary." I was smug.
"and that is?"
"oh no! It's not going to be THAT easy!"
"Well give me a hint."
"no."
"Come on, just one hint."
"hmm...what kind of hint?"
"Is it a "do" thing or a "go somewhere" thing?"
"Both."
"ok, a "go somewhere" thing. Out of State?"
"Nope."
"hmm."
"I had to pull strings to make this happen."
"You did, huh?"
"Yep."
"If I guess it will you tell me?"
"Yes." Because you're never going to guess it. Then I realized since he lurks on the 3D website so much, he might know the weekend they are coming. Better redirect to maintain the Shroud of Mystery.
"You're taking me to an SCA event."
I hadn't thought of that. Our nearest SCA group is in New Bern, and I have no contacts there. What a weird guess!! I acted surprised and amazed, and a little hurt. "ACH! Geez!"
"Did I guess it!"
"You ruin everything!"
"I do not! Did I guess it?"
"I'm not talking to you for the rest of the night." I turned over and opened my book. He was thrilled he guessed it and thwarted all my Plans.
"Aw baby, don't be like that."
"Hmpf. Next time I'm not telling you about any more surprises."
He giggled, very proud of himself. I told him it was in Raleigh and what weekend it was. He assumed it was Saturday.

Over the course of the next three weeks, he told anyone that would listen that he had guessed the surprise on the first try. He was very proud of himself. I kept my giggles to myself. He found out when his recert was. No surprise to me. And hey! He got Friday the 21st off! Go figure!

The tickets came in the mail and I hid them. I felt very sneaky, but that was the thrill of it. Every once or twice a week I'd throw in a comment about, "boy, these would be great at an SCA event!" Yes. I am E-vile.

Then it happened. Moose wakes me up at 10 til 6am so that I can get Bryan up and off to school. He says, "Guess what I found out?!" I was immediately awake.
"What?"
"Third Day is going to be in concert in Raleigh! At the NC State Fair! Only eight dollars a ticket!"
I had to think fast. "What weekend is it?"
"October 21"
"That's a Friday."
"I know."
"That's also the weekend of the surprise."
"I know, but I thought that was Saturday."
"Well, it's Friday night over Saturday."
"oh." You would have thought I killed the man's puppy.
"I'm sorry baby. Do you want to go to Third Day instead? We can do the surprise another time." Stroke of genius.
"No. Third Day will come back eventually."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."

Next day....

"Hey honey?" I venture.
"Yeah?"
"I feel really bad that we can't go to the Third Day concert."
"Why do you feel bad?"
"Well, I know you love them, and I just feel bad that we have the surprise the same weekend. Are you sure you don't want to cancel?"
"Of course not, honey. We'll do the surprise. Third Day will come back to town."
"...oh...okay...if you're sure..."
"I'm sure."
"Okay."

The deal was done. Recert week was hell on his body, and we made plans to do laundry and shopping Friday morning, and leave for Raleigh at 1-ish.

We decided on Friday morning not to do laundry, but we HAD to do grocery shopping, so we went to get air in the tires, but there was a man there, doing something underneath his truck. He threw the air hose behind him, and Moose refused to get out to ask the guy if he was done with the air hose, so we just went breakfast at IHOP, went grocery shopping and got our Sweet Dreams Cigarettes, then took the groceries home.

We put the groceries away, I picked up the tickets, and we left. It was 3:15. We still had to get air in the front tires, and fill up the tank, but we had plenty of time.

We pulled into the TradeMart, which has free air, and a person in a blue car had pulled up in front of us, then a white Jeep backed in. Looked like she might want to use the air hose, but I didn't think so. We waited, and Blue Car was taking forever, so we went over to the BP and got gas then came back. Blue Car was pulling away, and white Jeep was just sitting there, butt to the air hose and about 50 ft away. She looked like she was eating. I pulled up to the air hose. Moose had a freaking fit!! "What are you doing! That Jeep wants air! Move the car! Why did you just pull in there like that! I can't believe this!"

So I figure, well, ok, the Jeep MIGHT want air, but I really didn't think so. It didn't have reverse lights on, and wasn't moving after Blue Car left. But I could be wrong. So I pulled round, backed the car up, then pulled forward so I could straighten the car up as I backed up again, and got out of the main area of the parking lot. As I pulled forward, he freaked out again! "What the hell are you DOING? Don't you see that Jeep wants air! Let's just leave! I don't like this!"

I turned to look out the back window to finish backing up and I said (loudly), "Would you give me a minute!! Shit!" I finished backing up and he said, "What is your problem?" I looked at him and said, "You are!" Then I got out of the car and went over to the Jeep, which still hadn't moved. "Ma'am, are you waiting to get air?" Big Beautiful Black Woman said, "No, chile, I'm just sittin here eatin mah chicken! You go'n 'head and get you some air!" (She really did say that.)

So I go back to the car and get in and tell him Jeep isn't getting air, she's eating her Hardee's. He said, "Well, I'm done for the day."

"What?"

"I'm done for the day. I'm such a problem for you, well I'm done being a problem for today. That's it. I'm done." Another car pulled up to get air. He got out and put the air in the tires, while I thought, 'You know what? I'm fucking done too. With all the bullshit and crap I went through to make today happen, and he is yelling at me for pulling in to get air and HE'S done? Oh HELL no! Watch me drive the fuck home! We're a block away!'

He got back in, and I really planned to go home. 'He's done,' I thought. 'We'll see who is fucking done around here.' And then I thought, 'You know what? I love Third Day too! I'll drop asshole off and take Bryan. He'd LOVE to go to the fair and Third Day. He's home from school. He's done. mhm. We'll see how fucking done he is.'

So I pull out and I'm getting ready to turn around to turn left and go home. "So you wanna go to Raleigh or not?"

"Yes," he said. So I turn right. Then we fought about the fight. First time he's ever really yelled at me. I mean YELLED. His point was that he thought it extremely rude that I cut the Jeep off, and it made him uncomfortable to be a passenger in a vehicle that had a driver that would do that. I explained that I figured the Jeep didn't want air, and I was right, so he needs to back off and have a little faith in me, and the fact that I wouldn't intentionally cut someone off like that.

"Happy Anniversary," I said as dry and sarcastically as I could muster.
"What does that mean?"
"Exactly what I said."
"Why did you say it like that?"
I just shook my head and sighed, pissed, driving, and he said, "Well, maybe I over-reacted."
I nodded.
"I'm sorry."
I nodded.
"I didn't want to spoil the day...."
That was it. I started bawling. Keeping your mouth closed while you are bawling is a hell of a feat. The tears were running down my face like someone had turned on a water spigot. I felt hopeless in that instant. Despair. I had waited so long, and wanted everything to be, not perfect, but surely not this. And he overreacted. Again. Over stupid shit, again. And he was apologizing, again. Which was nice, but did me no good now, because he ruined it, again.

So I cried. He felt bad, and I felt bad. "Why are you crying?"
I couldn't stop long enough to try to articulate it, and I don't think I would have wanted to if I could have. "Honey, don't cry." But I couldn't stop. All I could think of was what I went through for so long to get to today, and it was over before it started. "Honey, do you want me to cry too?" I didn't care. He could cry if he wanted to. It wouldn't help me, it would just make things worse. I told him I'll be okay in a minute, and he sighed heavily and smoked a cigarette.

By the time he finished smoking, I had gotten myself together, and wiped my face. He apologized again, and I told him ok, and that was it. We listened to a few songs, and were halfway out of town on the freeway, and he asked me what the surprise was.

I wouldn't tell him, and things got a little lighter, I told him I wasn't gonna tell him. Twenty miles later I was thinking that as we got into Raleigh he would start seeing signs for the state fair, put 2 and 2 together and come up with 4. I wanted to tell him rather than him figuring it out.

"So you wanna - "
"YES!"
We laughed, and things were somehow right again. I was still touchy in some areas, but I think I was really over the most of it. I'm working on my forgiveness.
So I got the tickets out of my purse, and I had him close his eyes as I put them in his hand.

To say he was pleased would be a huge understatement. We spent the next hour talking about all I had gone through to get them, and how I keept diverting him, and how he came close, all of it. It felt as if this huge weight was lifted from me. I can't really explain it, but I didn't have to HIDE it anymore, and that felt terrific. I teased him for another 15 minutes, then he started navigating us to the fair.

We made a couple of good guesses, then pulled off the freeway at the state fair sign. The line of cars extended nearly to the freeway. I pulled in to the right, and there we were.

We brought the tickets and ride tickets, my ID and his wallet, the cigarettes and an awesome sense of anticipation. THIRD DAY! We couldn't wait.

We walked about 1/2 mile to gate 11 and the first thing that hit me was the sea of people there. I've seen TV and movies that show all the people in New York just walking along, all you see is heads bobbing. That's how the fair was. It wasn't like "New Year's in Vegas" or anything, but it was alot of people. More than I'd seen since I left Vegas. There were rides and food and food and carnies and more rides and one where all you did was loop loop loop like revolution only just the loop. Gah.

I wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel, but Moose is afraid of heights, so we chose the ... how to describe it... backwards lightning ride. You go around backwards, and the cars can swivel side to side. Well, I figured I better get in first so I didn't squish my man.

I stepped into the car, but didn't expect it to swivel while the ride wasn't running, so my weight tipped the car to the right (I was getting in from the left) so I brought my left knee up quickly to try to balance my weight and it slammed against the welded tie rod and scraped off.

Pain. Enough to make my eyes roll back in my head, but not enough that I couldn't finish getting into the car. Moose slid into the car next to me, and kinda wedged his little butt in between me and the left car wall. The ride guycame around and laid the bar down.

Folks, I'm 6'1" and run about 285. My wounded and unwounded knee were up against the bar laying across our laps. I had no leg room. If I crossed my legs at the knee, I could tuck my feet under me, but that shoved my knee into the bar. Pain shot through me anew and I struggled to find a comfortable position.

Finally I settled in, and for the 2 minutes of going backward, it was fun. Then I got off, and my left knee felt...funny. Not funny "haha" but funny "I think I need to sit". We got in line for a fun house (with another skinny minnie ass little dinky ride, and to my immense relief, it broke before we got on it. We wandered around some more, and watched the ...I dunno what to call it...the game where you hit the hammer on the plate and you get a number, and if you get to 100 then you get any prize...that thing. Moose was saying how you gotta bring your hands up. He reminded me three times that his father was a lumber jack, and that he would try it, but recert had made him very very sore.

We wandered some more and picked up a lemonade (in a souvenir cup, $4.00) and wandered toward Dorton Arena. There were some percussionists there, The Procrastinators, and they were pretty good, and kept us busy for about 15 minutes. We wandered over the Waterfall Stage, and a "Kitchen" band was playing. The female was wearing daisy dukes and a tank top, and man, she was athletic! I told Moose she could have been an aeorbics instructor the way she was dancing and stuff.

We walked over to the Arena but still had an hour left. Non of the other rides looked appealing, and we weren't about to pay $1.00 to see the smallest horse in the world or $2.00 to see the biggest pig on the planet or $1.50 to see the "face of a beautiful woman and the body of a snake". We sat by the channel 7 truck and watched the night guy do a quick "live" report, then wandered down the midway and back. It was 6:45. 45 minutes until SHOWTIME!!!

...will be continued next post....

posted by Nikki B at 7:39:00 PM